Ghost-gate Update

May 9th, 2008 by Sam Luchow | Posted in The House Gone Mad |

Okay…maybe I’m totally out in left field with this one, but I really just don’t give a sh*t about this whole ghost-employee deal. Yeah, I know…a bunch of people, lots of them on the right, just gasped in horror and furious, red-rimmed words like “taxpayerdollars!” started leaping into their heads.

Stay with me.

You might think that this is an important story because it’s all over every news source imaginable. It also seems unsavory, even if people can’t quite put their fingers on why. Lots of speculation about what’s wrong with it, but very little substance to back that up. Don’t believe the hype. Mike Ward spotted a good story, moved in, and the House members freaked out before thinking, which caused the whole thing to spin through several more news cycles.

Here’s why I think this is a non-issue:

First, just forget the “we’ve always done it this way argument.” That’s ridiculous. And any lawmaker who used it should be taken out behind the loading and dock and given a good kick in the crotch.

How about this…no one other than the members knows what the motivation was for paying people small amounts. Maybe it was all nefarious. Maybe it was that House members have absurdly small budgets. Maybe the people involved didn’t need the money but wanted to work in the state government and they needed health benefits. Maybe the coffee mug next to your computer is going to get up and start dancing the mambo. “Maybe” is a funny word.

As for the “they weren’t working enough hours” argument…apparently the members whose continuing positions in the House believe that they are working enough hours. And since staffers take care of those people called voters, House members are the only ones who would get screwed if that’s not the case (don’t think it matters if staff are taking care of the voters? Ask the other Keffer).

How about the “they’re just doing it for the retirement” angle? From what I’ve seen there have been 2 ex-legislators who were a part of this. If I was a sitting member and I wanted someone to work in my district doing outreach and community relations while I attended to things like…oh, maybe trying to make enough money that I could take 5 months off…I’d probably look for someone who’d done the job before. So there are legitimate reasons for having an ex-legislator on staff. And like health benefits, retirement packages are a part of compensation. So instead of paying this person a bunch of money that House office budgets just don’t include, the members have been offering what they can to keep good people on staff.

So screw ghost-gate. In the end, the Ethics Commission will decide–rightly–that the House rules and the personnel manual both say that members have control over their employee’s schedules.

And no, I don’t think this is some plot to nail a bunch of Dems. As everyone in the politico realms has noted, this is going to hurt Repubs, too. The response by House Admin is baffling. Just as the whole response over ghost voting has been.

Note to House members and Admin: this was a gotcha story that didn’t have much traction until you all lost your minds and started sending out angry letters to each other. Relax. Have a nice Scotch. Maybe take a yoga class.

Just had a horrifying vision of House members in yoga positions, and I need to go scrub my brain with lye to get the images out.

Except for that Tara Rios Ybarra. I’d be her downward dog anytime.